The mirror lies ….

My sister and I look at the same mirror everyday, what she sees is a girl who is gaining weight and what I see is someone who looks ok. The mirror lies to both of us. My sister is 5’4″ and slender, every time she looks into the mirror she whines she has gained weight, which irritates the hell out of me, because according to me its not true. She is her same slender self.

Now when I look into the mirror I see myself as someone normal, I mean I am not thin, have never been, neither  am I fat.  Even when the world is telling me I have started gaining weight, the mirror keeps telling me I look OK.

I think it is a deep psychological thing. I was a very healthy child, the golu molu type not very tall and then suddenly I gained in height and lost weight , my mum associated the weight loss  to the sudden spurt of growth. But it was actually a chronic health condition which made me very ill for a long time. So for me weight loss is associated with being ill.  When I look into the mirror I don’t want to see someone thin, nor do I want to see someone who is fat as I was teased for being one when I was a kid.  So is the mirror lying to me… no it is just showing what  I want to see.


For the love of tiramisu

What will you  do to get a spoonful  of your favourite dessert? I coaxed, bribed and emotionally blackmailed my brother to get it for me over a distance of almost 2400 km.

I first tasted Tiramisu two year ago when I was in Edinburgh and was instantly hooked to it, even the mass produced supermarket variety. Living in Gangtok, I am as far away from tiramisu as possible, but I just could not stop talking about it. When I was visiting Kolkata with my cousin, she insisted  on tasting  it,  I had been talking about it for ages. So we went to Flurys because it has a reputation of being  one of the best confectionary. I was deeply disappointed by what they served as tiramisu,  it did not even come close to how it was supposed to be. I was also embarrassed, as I had being going gaga over my favourite dessert, and when my cousin finally tasted it, she was dismayed, it turned out to be a dud.  I had to do something to salvage my reputation, so when my brother said he is coming home for a few days, I asked him to get tiramisu from Theobroma in Mumbai. It was not as easy as just asking him to get it, I did have to  use underhand tactics, what clinched the deal was my explanation of how bad the tiramisu we had in Kolkata was.  Being a foodie himself he understood, how it was criminal to let my cousin have such a negative view of our favourite dessert.  So after a long flight of many hours, being manhandled by the baggage crew ,  road trip of 4 hours , I finally got to have my spoonful of tiramisu, it was ambrosial.  And I did share it with my cousin, she loved it too.

Self help books : who are they actually helping….

Go to any bookshop, you will find a large section dedicated to self help books. Books that are supposed to help you become rich, lead a better life, be spiritual etc, etc ,etc.

To be honest I did read a few of them in my early 20’s, but now I stay away from them. I would rather read a good biography.

The other day I was discussing books with my brother, when he said he does not read self-help books. It got me thinking, do the self help books actually help.  Who are they helping ? First and foremost they are helping the author. They make loads of money and generally have a happy life. I am ok with books that talk about making money, at least they are trying to help others make money while they make their own.

I have my grievance against authors who talk about how to become  spiritual and better human and how to give back. While asking us to give back to society or give up our worldly goods they are collecting all the royalties from the book. Do they give up too? Its like some of  the old devotional songs sung by a certain singer, where he sings about giving up worldly possession to get to God, but is charging money to sing the same songs. Isn’t it hypocricy at its best.

There are many people in this world who take great positives  from such books. If it was not so,  they would not be  bestsellers. Sometimes we read that it changes peoples lives.  To each his own, I am happy when I get to read such positive stories. But personally I feel everything is right inside us. If we really want to help ourself we need to think deep and contemplate . The answers are right in front of us. Saying that, I am at  a very delicate  juncture of my life, so I hope I will be able to dig deep within, and come out stronger without any help from books.

Anyone who has some positive stories to relate connected to self-help books I would welcome your comments, and also comments of people who do not agree with me.



Jai Ho!!!!

Phew!!! now that the CWG are finally over, everyone in India can heave a sigh of relief, no falling roof, no stray dogs, no cobras  no terror attacks etc etc.  The games passed on peacefully, though my younger sister was lamenting she could not go shopping as all the markets were closed a day before the closing ceremony.

As I am a total internet news addict,  I visit multiple site and blogs, the negativity  reported before the games was so depressing, some bordering on racism, it looked like no one wanted to say anything positive about India, and sadly the sports writers suddenly changed their profile and started reporting about  social issue, they were supposed o report about the games not how poor India is. It looked like they just wanted to slag us.

In-spite of everything we did host a successful games, I was wishing I could go to Delhi just to watch some of the events live, but I did keep track of every thing through the wonderful live text provided by bbc and other site.

Every game was quiet  interesting and competitive, even diving though  its very difficult for a layman like me to figure out what a good dive is . But   there was one event that no one could successfully explain to me, What the hell is Lawn Bowls? I had never seen it , never heard of it and did not understand it ,  is there any other sport as boring as lawn bowls, and are people expected to go and watch it?

The opening ceremony was spectacular, it was beyond my expectation and was very well executed, and so was the closing ceremony. I loved the fact that Mr. Suresh Kalmadi was booed, if I was there  I would have done the same.

And hats off to the Indian athletes, they sure did make us proud, it was great seeing the tricolour fluttering.  I thought the women athletes did really well,   I hope this sends out a positive message, we girls are no less,  so cherish your girl child and give her the opportunity, she will make you proud one day.

The most emotional moment for me was when Saina Nehwal won her gold, her never-give-up attitude is worth emulating,  to come back from brink of defeat and win is phenomenal, it shows positive attitude and mental strength. Her win put us in second place which is a great. The women relay was awesome, sitting glued to our TV we were urging the girls on, and they didn’t disappoint us.

Now that the games are over, I would like some answers from Mr. Kalmadi and co. There should be proper probe into all allegations, the taxpayers deserve some answers and the guilty should be punished.

Jai Ho, Jai Hind 🙂







Right now I’m going through a gamut of emotions:  Happy, sad, confused, scared, apprehensive……..

Sometimes I’m soaring high, feeing ecstatic, and then the next minute I come down with a big thud, feeling all depressed. I know its not healthy but I can’t help myself, don’t know if  I’m making the right choice in life, or what the future holds for me. Its feels like I’m taking a plunge towards the unknown, will I come out of it happier, satisfied,  wiser, I hope so , I really hope so.

I HATE SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t understand how people especially girls find shopping therapeutic, I totally hate it, it leaves me feeling frustrated, tired and generally unhappy. Moving from one shop to another and trying ‘n’ number of clothes is not my idea of fun, after the third shop I start getting irritated. If it’s a shop that sells standard size cloths its  OK, I can directly try the L sized stuff, but shopping at Gangtok can be a nightmare, especially for people like me who are not thin. Go to the famed Lal market and you will find  many  “foreign shops” selling  trendy but impractical stuff  with no proper size,  a size S may actually mean L, so you’re left going in and out of the trial room.

In my ideal world, someone else would do my shopping, unpack everything and hang it in my closet and my only job would be to wear it and look pretty, but I don’t live in an ideal world, so i’ll have to continue struggling with shopping 😦

Friends, Food & Music a cracking combination


Soulmate the most popular Blues band is India were here in our town.  I am not really a blues fan, but nevertheless enjoyed the show.  They were awesome, so was the new place Cafe Live and Loud, the hip  and happening hangout destination in Gangtok. With good interiors, pulsh sofas and very good sound system, is its the perfect place to relax after a hectic week of work.  The ambience is superb, if only the selection of drinks and nibbles were as good.

It was a perfect setting for a night out with few of my girl pals from school days.  Enjoyed the suberb music by the band from Shillong and the not so superb drink and food. The weekend is over and back to the grind tomorrow but I sure did enjoy this one.

Girls night out
Girls night out

My Rant

Recently I got an invitation on facebook , to join a group called  A Consortium of Pub-going,  Loose and Forward  Women

As I was enraged by what took place in Manglore, I joined the group.  The members were asked to send pink chaddi (underpants) to the chief of Ram Sena.   I fail to understand what those pink chaddi’s would achieve. I don’t like the thought of flaunting my undergarment in public.  Couldn’t there have been a better way of showing outrage.

I occasionally go to pub, have a couple of drink and dance. Does that make me a loose , forward women.  I don’t think so.  So the name doesn’t sit well with me . I am totally against the act carried out by Ram Sena, but I don’t like the retaliation method chosen by the women either. It was one incident,  though a bad one, I feel sorry for the women involved, but the media blew it out of proportion, and suddenly a man hitherto unknown becomes a national figure.  He got what he wanted, and above mentioned groups are keeping it alive.  The media called it talibanisation of India, I’m sorry, but we can’t even comprehend what is happening to women in Afghanistan. How can the term be so loosely used, it’s an insult to those brave women who are surviving the brutal conditions, where getting education and proper healthcare is a struggle.  It was a stray incident, which should be dealt properly and firmly, but nothing more.

Morality is totally subjective, depends on person to person, family to family, region to region, and so is the culture. There is nothing like Indian morality and culture.  What is right for a family in the North- East may be wrong for someone in Haryana.  So whose norms are the  Ram Sena following. Let the moral policing be left to parents, who know what is best for their kids. And lets remember that our culture is not fragile and it will not crumble easily. It has survived for thousands of years and will do so in the future